Breaking bad habits on social media

Social media. It can be frustrating, overwhelming, stress-inducing. But it can also be a source of support, a way to have a digital community, and a source of light relief. Breaking bad habits on social media is key to finding a healthier relationship with it, in both your personal and business life.

I have had my own struggle and love/hate relationship with social media. Well, let me rephrase that, I have had struggles caused by my own bad habits on social media. Let us not blame the platform, but instead look to see how our own bad habits are making social media a stressful thing to use. And consequently, how we can break these bad habits on social media and have a bunch less stress in our lives!

Bad habits on social media & how to break them:

Not understanding how each platform works / is used

This is probably one of the most common causes of frustration for people. If you believe a SM platform SHOULD work one way, when in actual fact it DOESN’T. Time to change your perspective, NOT the platform. Some examples:

• “Don’t post swear words on your Facebook timeline, my kids might see”. First of all, you can post whatever you like (within legal limits) on your FB timeline. It is YOUR timeline. If your friends don’t like your content, they have many options to stop seeing it – you can unfollow, mute, unfriend or block. With that said, if you are posting on someone else’s timeline, be respectful.
• “I only post once a month on Insta, why am I not getting any new followers?”. Instagram rewards engagement. Research the platform you are using (there are hundreds of courses, blog posts, and advice groups out there), so that you have realistic expectations of it.

Not setting boundaries

Setting boundaries is probably the hardest one to implement, so it is up at the top of the list. It requires self-control and making awkward or tough decisions! It is probably an especially British problem too, we are too polite. Here are some ideas for boundaries that you might consider setting, for your mental health, for the health of your relationships, and for the sake of your business.

• Set time boundaries: I believe your time on social media can be split into two categories: purposeful and passive. Purposeful is when you go on for a reason: to post on your personal timeline, to check the news, to do your business posting or spend time engaging (to grow your social media). Passive is when you just stare at your feed and refresh it often, just to see if anything is ‘happening’. My suggestion is to limit your passive consumption of social media, and only use it when you have purpose. Unless refreshing your Facebook feed is calming to you, if so, carry on.
• Set personal boundaries: Have you got a space online that is just for you and your close family and friends? Somewhere you can feel safe online with likeminded people? Be that your personal Facebook page, or a FB group. Perhaps twitter is your tribe? Can you say anything and be ok there? If not, I urge you to find that space. Clean up your friends list, take off those people that don’t make you feel it’s ok to be yourself. It’s ok to curate your space online (more below).
• Set boundaries for your own interactions: Do you have an issue being reactive or quick to anger or stress? Is that productive or healthy for you? No? Then practice the “scroll on by” technique. Want to dive into the comments on a news item, knowing that the trolls will wind you up? STOP and SCROLL ON BY. I like to sing ‘scroll on by’ to the tune of Dionne Warwick’s Walk On By to myself.
• Wouldn’t say that to someone in person? So don’t say it online: Sometimes it’s hard to stop a rant, I get it. I LOVE a good rant. However, in recent years, since my social media usage has been more for business than pleasure, I have had to make sure I don’t sour my relationship with it. I stop myself and reflect upon my feelings before I post my rants now. If it is too reactive, I won’t post, I will cool off and say it in a better way at a later point. It takes a lot of restraint, but these boundaries for yourself are equally important as boundaries you put in place for others.

Not curating your feed

As I alluded to above, curating your spaces online is super important. Remember, you are in control of what you see online. Here are some tips on how to curate your feeds:

• Don’t be afraid to unfollow / unfriend / snooze your friends: FB is probably the easiest platform to curate from a practical perspective. The difficulty comes when you end up feeling bad for curating that person / their negativity out of your feed. Don’t. You have so many options for removing that person from your feed, whether it’s by putting them on snooze for 30 days, unfollowing them, using the ‘take a break’ function (which means you’ll no longer see their updates on your feed), or even unfriending them. If that friend is causing you stress, don’t be shy, press ‘take a break’ without guilt. Your mental health is important.
• Come out of toxic or bullying groups / forums: When I talk to people about their social media habits, one of the most common things I hear is that they’ve had bad online experiences with bullying. Good moderators are key to stop bullying in its tracks, and if your FB group or other forum does not have good Mods, then these situations can spiral. Take yourself out of these situations if they can’t be resolved. Or offer your Moderating services!
• It’s ok to unfriend your family: While it’s all well and good to confront people about online behaviour, and to resolve issues (in fact, I encourage it). There is an element of ‘keyboard warrior’ warfare online, and people seem reluctant to give that up. So, instead of convincing people to change, just change how this impacts you. It’s ok to unfollow or unfriend your family if needed. REMEMBER, this is JUST social media, the world won’t end.
• Twitter: Twitter is my favourite platform, and over the years I have developed a way to ensure my huge and fast moving feed is full of quality things. If I see someone spam my feed with off-niche retweets or content, I hit unfollow. If they change their niche and are no longer relevant to my audience, I unfollow. I do not play the follow / unfollow game, but I go by the relevance rule. No longer relevant to my audience? Unfollow!

Not knowing when to step back

Are you feeling super negative about social media? Does your feed regularly piss you off? Are you logged in constantly, but not actually doing anything? I think it’s time you took a step back. I hate the phrase ‘digital detox’, but that is essentially probably what you need.

• Take full day off: Did you know that you can take a whole day or even week or month off social media and the world won’t end?! No? Try it!
• Limit your usage: Can’t manage a whole day off? Then limit it at least.
• Limit or temper your engagement: Politics messing with your calm? Stop engaging! SCROLL ON BY….

For business:

Not making platform specific content

On the business side of things, if you are posting the same things on every platform and not tailoring it to the different nuances of each, then you are missing a trick. Twitter is all about quality content, engagement and chatting. Instagram is all about beautiful images, hashtag usage, and storytelling. Facebook has different ways to communicate – pages, groups, shares etc. So you really have to analyse your content, research what other people in your niche are doing, and test different strategies!

Not realising that SM is usually a two-way street, not a soapbox

Ok, so your own Facebook timeline is a soap box… and we all know some people use Twitter like that too. But I’m talking about when using social media for business. While numbers are important, engagement is actually far more important. To boost engagement, it’s important to build a community, to ask questions, to get feedback, and to encourage a two-way-street of communication.

Keeping on doing the same thing, but expecting a different outcome

Like with any scenario in life, if you keep doing the same things but expect a different outcome, you will always be disappointed. If your strategies aren’t working, it’s time to look at your analytics, change up your content, pivot. While the algorithms are constantly tweaked, and us folks working with SM are having to update our strategies often, you really do have to pay attention if SM is part of your marketing. If you are throwing good money after bad on Facebook ads, with no tangible gain, then change your strategy. Get advice, do your research, hire an ads manager.

Not taking into account the humanity within the digital

Keyboard warriors, trolls, and bullies will hide behind their computer screens and wreak havoc if you let them. Breaking the bad habits on social media includes NOT being one of those people. It also involves NOT engaging with them. AND, it involves realising that these annoying people are still humans, who probably have their own issues which lead to this behaviour. It involves being kind even when people are riling you up. AND IT’S DIFFICULT TO DO!

Imagine if every social media interaction you have was in person. Would you react the same way? Probably not. Kindness to others, as well as yourself, is vital here. I have made a concerted effort in the last couple of years to be less reactive, more kind, and more measured in my dealings online. Not because I am any less fiery than usual, but because you never know what people are going through behind that computer screen.

Breaking bad habits on social media

Breaking bad habits you have on social media is a challenge, there’s no doubt about that. But I hope that this has give you some actionable steps, or at least some food for thought. Put simply – take breaks, know your limits, curate your feed, remove the negativity, be kind, and strategise! Easy, right? 😉

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